Cross-Fit Is Weak

Crossfit.  Fuck, hopefully this fad is close to over.  It’s extremely gay.  Now, I realize that all physical fitness is good, and that there are many paths to physical scholarship.  But c’mon man… This shit is pretty gay.  Here’s why.  

First of all, I believe it promotes terrible form.  What crossfit really boils down to is competitive calisthenics.  I mean, this sounds like a great idea on paper.  Calisthenics are a great idea in general.  However, when you make it into a contest, and judge it primarily by number of repetitions, then form takes a back seat.  In some cases, the athlete’s form becomes such an after thought that injuries occur. 

Second reason why it’s dumb;  Because it’s taking the initially awesome idea of “cross training”, and watering it down to the point of becoming the next jazzersize.  We remember jazzersize as that thing from the late 80’s that both soccer moms and small children practiced in earnest, in sweaty school auditoriums everywhere.  It was basically a silly cross between aerobics and jazz-dance, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, just watch the “sparkle motion” dance sequence from the movie “Donnie Darko”.  Indeed, that was jazzersize., and that’s also what happens when a form of physical fitness becomes a fad.  

I mention this all, because that’s about where crossfit is now in it’s life-cycle.  Notice I say “now”, because ironically back in the 80’s he progenitor of cross fit (an activity called “cross-training”) was actually pretty cool.  Initially, the idea was that training the same muscle sets, the same way, causes the body to specialize, and natural growth hits a plateau.  By training in activities and sports that you don’t normally train in, you’re training muscle sets in your body in all new ways, thereby creating a more strenuous and demanding workout.  Sorta like when Mickey told Rocky to catch the chicken, I suppose. 

Anyway, once the shoe companies caught on in the early 90’s and started marketing “cross training” shoes, the show was presumably over.  Although it’s a nice idea to have a shoe that’s just as good at jogging as it is playing basketball, it’s only a few short years before you go from that to kipping pull-ups and knee push-ups.