Berserker (1987) Movie Review

1987,Widesceen, Tubi

If it matters, this is apparently a story about an insane Viking… I’m sorry… an insane GHOST Viking that possesses some campers.  Obviously, this results in murder and chaos.  If that sounds like an R-rated, live action, feature length episode of “Scooby-Doo”, it pretty much is exactly that. 

We begin with some 70 year old lady who’s talking about “Pappy”.  Her Pappy?  How old must this man be?  Oh… I guess he’s not HER pappy.   It’s actually a guy named Pappy.  

Highlights include songs like “Cool Dude”, by Chuck Francour.  Some of the lyrics to that sweet tune are:

“you got your real antisocial side”

“a regular rabbit guy”

“such a cool, rude, drude, dude”

Is this a juicy fruit gum commercial?  WTF does “drude” mean?  Well, that’s actually interesting.  According to Wikipedia:  

In German folklore, a drude (German: Drude, pl. Druden) is a kind of malevolent nocturnal spirit (an elf (Alp) or kobold or a hag) associated with nightmares, prevalent especially in Southern Germany.  Drudenfuss is also the German name of the pentagram used as a heraldic device (alternatively Drudenkreuz “drude’s cross” and Alpfuß, Alfenfuß “elf-foot” or Alpkreuz “elf-cross”) besides the more descriptive Pentalpha or Fünfstern

Does a “Drude” have anything to do with this movie?  Perhaps. 

3-wheel ATVs.  How dangerous and 80’s. 

We’ve got the classic homo-erotic jerk showing his ass while riding an ATV scene.  Damn, this character is “a real fucking jerk”.  Not like a “murder your friends in their sleep” jerk, but just like a legit “I wouldn’t hang out with that guy if he wasn’t driving” kind of jerk. 

We have what appears to be a Linda Hamilton look-alike (Beth Toussaint).  We have an oofing scene intercut wit h a slashing.  During the oofing, we get to see her boobs.  A-cup boobies, but make no mistake, we still appreciate them.  You don’t necessarily need massive gozangas for an effective horror movie oof.

Hold up.  This Beth Toussaint chick has been in a ton of shit.  Like music videos from Bon Jovi, Bob Seger, and even appearances on “Star Trek TNG”, “Matlock”, “Melrose Place”, and “Babylon 5”.

More slashing.   The slashing style is strangely playful and loose.   

Is it a bear, or a Viking ghost with a cool snout muzzle?

Love the 80’s cinematography.  Even the outdoors at night is well lit.  

Long scenes.  Some are decently paced, while other parts of the movie…  not so much.  The second act needs more slashing and more wild animals.  Definitely a relic of the 80’s.  I could easily have seen this hosted by Captain USA.

The ending is… worth it?  It’s a bit strange, and maybe sort of predictable, but I liked it.  Definitely one to watch after having taken a heroic dose of mushrooms. 

It’s also worth noting, that my extremely ornery cat took it upon himself to jump into my lap, and watch the final clawing/biting/fighting scene with me.  I guess that means he approves.  

3/5